Apr 27 2009
What to call Gordon’s Attendance Allowances
I have been thinking about what we should call Attendance Allowances for MPs.
I first thought they should be ASBOs – Arrive, Swipe, Be Off.
Then I realised they are LILOs – Log In, Lope Off.
Do you have a better proposal?
34 Responses to “What to call Gordon’s Attendance Allowances”
John Redwood has been the Member of Parliament for Wokingham since 1987. First attending Kent College, Canterbury, he graduated from Magdalen College...
Whilst I q
How about SIKOs?
Sign in, knock off.
How about MP = Mendicants Profit.
The possibilities are infinite:
SWINE: SWipe IN, Escape
PIG: Punch In & Go
TROUGH: TRavel Over, Update & Go Home
SATS: Send Assistant To Swipe
(No offence to you I am sure!)
Hm, let’s see monies paid in return for attending the work place – how about ’salary’…
THTUTGH!!
Turnip heads turn up then go home. Not all of you of course, some need to be preparing for Government!
They’d be cash cards:
C – Commons
A – Attendance
S – Swipe and go
H – Home
Surely it’s a Turning-Up-Regularly Dividend.
How about what the MEPs use, SISO: Sign-in, sod off.
My suggestions:
1. Brown Shield Stamps
2. Dick Turpin Allowance
3. Gordon Brown Memorial Grants
4. The Westminster Minimum Wage
There already is a name. SISOs, its what the MEPs call them.
How about
DILDOs
Drop
In
Logon
Drop
Out
It was interesting in the TV film how the cameras were driven out of the building.
Our parliament is getting more and more like the totally Prussian Wilhelmine Reichstag which is the EU parliament.
But – hey – it brings peace to Europe!
How about:
Top-up
Honourables
Incomes
Every
Visit,
Each
Swipe
..or how about …
This
Remuneration
Obviates
Us
Getting
Housing
Expenses
Regularly
Financial-Uplift Commons Kitchen-comittee Enhanced Dispersment.
As in “Is Gordon okay? He looks stressed…”
“Yeah, he’s now looking [at] F……”
These things should be ‘BISTO’S’
Book In, Share Taxes Out, and Scarper.
Hopefully Browns and thickens the public at the same time – if only we would swallow it. (No chance!)
SCAMS
Secure Cash Advance Money System
TARDIS
Tax Avoidance Remuneration and Distribution Income System.
LIES
Larger Income for Exceptional Stooges.
Just a few to get on with.
A scandal?
FOBs – Fill Our Boots
PFI – Policitical Fix Initiative or maybe PPP – Public Purse Pays
TOSI:- troughs out, snouts in
Jobseekers’ Allowance
Cocos
Clock On Clear Off
How about BIBO?
Book in, Bugger off.
CIPO – clock in and piss off
We could also introduce a new verb – Troughing, the act of filling ones boots at the public expense.
The plural of ASBO – ASBI Another Stupid Brown Idea.
JBPA’s = The Jacqui Bath Plug Allowance
GBHF’s = Gordon Brown Holiday Fund
WTC’s = Where the Cash?
After May next year, many Labour MP’s will be claiming an allowance for sure, the Jobseekers Allowance.
Nothing that you would publish.
Single ticket for the next gravy train
Why, it’s obvious!
The Bankers Bonus!
(Well, it sounds a bit like bankers, anyhow….present company excepted)
It’s theft.
Unless you allow the public the same tax perks
Nick
FIFO – File In and F**k Off